Back where I belong ?

I see its been since april since ive published. april. well. hopefully no one's reading this now. Where am i now? suburbia, texas. i went to hawaii to visit my brother. wonderful. my other brother went too and the three of us + my sister-i.l. hung out all week. the most active 6 days of my life and now i cant stop. work seems even more like a gray, monotone, stifling building than before (note: i LOVE the people i work with...i love the admins...they make life worthwhile. caring, crazy people!). but i can't complain...its good work and good money. but i'm not comfortable there. i can't wait to get out of the ac and into the sweaty sun or even the rain. feel something. run into people...instead of being separated by awkwardly height-ed cubicles. but i can't imagine a job that wouldn't make me feel this way. because what i want is what i've had all last year, or even at school. i mean, i've been pretty darn spoiled...studying is NOT working, at least so far...and being with people...that's waht i miss. people.

i wonder if i'll be able to adjust. i see now that i went through a time of separation from the people around me so i could be okay to travel for a year +. but i'm curious if i'll be able to re-attach. I guess its always a challenge.

I feel like im in another waiting period. But i need this one. I'm getting "centered"...i think I need the time...even the 8hrs a day to make the other 4-5 that i have awake more precious.

i run...i almost have to...i watch soccer-that's fun. i cook a bit (very little) and i have a million things i want/need to do that i don't get to. like tonight...I'm exhausted. friday night at 11pm. that's not even late! but i've gotta catch up.

I'm the typical 20some year old coming back from world wanderings, shocked by the world around her. confused about my identity and character - i feel more like i have multiple me s...they don't seem to connect yet. especially not here. and i wonder which one is the real one? which one is the best one?

i went to starbucks the other night with a friend. i ordered a decaf coffee and the lady said that i'd have to wait for it to brew if that's ok. she said nervously "it'll be two and a half minutes?". i said that i had no where to go except where i was. so i waited and we chatted about working and how its not at all fun...the three of us. and then the two minutes was up, the chatting was over, and i put the money out to pay her and i couldn't! she said they can't allow people to pay if they've had to wait!!!! two and a half minutes. three if i round up. People don't have three minutes and require a free drink!??? what has become of this place i live in? seriously. maybe its just because i need those 2 minutes of waiting and that conversation with that lady because it makes my day better. two minutes. hup. three. damn. odd.